Exercise – Check this cunt out. Going to the gym.

So we are a “couple” of months into 2017 and I just finished my first personal training session. At an actual gym. Where people go to exercise. By choice.

It’s not exactly a flying start to the standard ‘New Year fitness resolutions’ I have been making religiously for the best part of my adult life, but I made it. That’s a fucking win!

I had decided that I needed a bit of support and guidance, after my previous attempt at an exercise routine clearly didn’t work out for me. Fucking runners (See link to that post below).

I walked in and the girl on reception says “Have a seat over there or you can start warming up.” I chose the seat. Cracking start!

So I was sitting on the couch. At the gym. Where people go to exercise. By choice. Making a photo collage on my phone, when my new best friend/worst enemy approached me to introduce himself and start this new journey of self-improvement. He is hot. Second win for the day. Clocking them up nicely. I wonder what our children will look like.

We had a bit of a chat, talked fitness goals (Ha!) and he questioned how long I wanted to train with him for. Easy, “until you sort this rig out.”

Now that we had made this beautiful commitment to one another it was time to… well… sort the rig out.
Started on some squats with a kettle ball. So I guess you could say I lift now. Yep, I’m very impressive and obviously on the fast track to becoming a personal trainer. #nailingthis

Smashed out a few other ‘reps’ (I talk the lingo now) of some other things that I have never heard of. They were level zero easy, but left me dripping with sweat and puffing like an emphysemic without their oxygen tank.
Overall, it was a massive success and I left feeling positive and optimistic about the next session.

I then proceeded to walk home, daydreaming about my new bikini…while looking like I was having a stroke.
Check this cunt out. Going to the gym. Where people go to exercise. By choice.

– The Spiritual Bogan

Exercise – Gasping like a carp on a river bank. 

Please post a comment & share this with a legend who would enjoy laughing at my expense xox

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