Mindful eating – Does that mean I’m fat AND killing children?

I have been saying for roughly a decade now that I need to start eating better. To nourish my body, to fuel myself so I perform at optimum levels and function at peak performance.

We are what we eat and there is so much amazing fresh produce available to us in this country and access to millions of easy delicious recipes. There is just no excuse to eat crap and increase our risk of disease or decrease our lifespan significantly for the pleasure of a bad food craving.

Yet, I just ate so much oily, cheese covered, sour cream drizzled, take-away Mexican food that I feel I may shit myself at any moment without any notice.

Last week I inhaled a creamy pasta like I had just been told that the speed at which I ate those carbs could have somehow changed the outcome of the American presidential election. Yeah I know. That’s fast. Fuck I felt sick and guess what? Trumps still in.

It’s a vicious cycle:

I feel bad for eating so much.

Then I think I should be grateful for the food because there are starving children in Africa.

But then I feel terrible because I just ate enough food to feed them all.

Does that mean I’m fat AND killing children?

And so it continues.

The habits that I have formed around eating usually leave me experiencing high levels of discomfort and end in regret. The emotional triggers to eat are extensive. I eat when I’m happy, sad, angry, bored and rarely because I’m hungry.

So I have been reading up on mindful eating which can not only reduce overeating but improve immune function as well. Here’s some tips I need to take on board.

  • Enjoy the cooking process and knowing what you are eating. Cooking? Last time I used the stove was to light a cigarette.
  • Sit at a table, not in front of the TV or scrolling my phone for the meaning of life (which I’m pretty sure has something to do with pizza).
  • Take your time to chew each mouthful – around 25 times each. With my current serving size that should clock dinner time to around 3 or 4 hours.
  • Serve food on a smaller plate. Do they make those? I usually eat from multiple plastic containers that get delivered by a guy on a scooter.
  • Concentrate on the food and how it feels, tastes and smells while you are eating. Usually a sensory experience I reserve for achieving orgasm.
  • Listen to your body. When you feel full, stop. I said stop. Bro, fucking STOP!

Sounds simple. Far more civilised than the putrid, live in your own filth, Netflix induced binge sessions in bed that I love so dearly. But hey, I like to try new things.

– The Spiritual Bogan

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