Emotional Awareness – I am such a FUCKING sook

I am such a FUCKING sook.

The amount of feelings I can have in a day is ridiculous. At the peak of an emotional outburst, If I had a breed, like a dog, I would be an ‘Angry Toddler X Drama Queen X Britney 07’.

I know. It can be a lot to handle.

Crippling at times for me, a real life horror scene to those around me.

The thing with feelings and emotions is that they are sneaky little fuckers when you throw your thoughts into the mix.

It’s a real journey. Come with me for a moment….

One minute I’m having a fully sick time minding my own business. ‘Nek minut’-  my whole world is falling apart, nobody loves me, I’m completely alone and misunderstood and I’ve somehow become the ‘VICTIM’ of a terrible injustice.

Seriously, why isn’t the whole world stopping so I can process the CLUSTERFUCK that’s happening in my head?

I think a thought, it provokes a feeling, which initiates more thoughts, the feelings get more intense. Rinse and repeat a few hundred times until I come to a show stopping finale of irrationality that could make the Game of Thrones “red wedding” look like a safer event to attend. There’s tears, projection, angry outbursts, cheap shots (and a few expensive ones).

This process can last between 2 minutes and 3 years.

And just when you think you’ve climaxed and can now roll over, light a dart and bask in the post psycho glow of success, they’re waiting for you at stage two.

This tasty little combo consists of those warm fuzzy classics we all love so much, like guilt, shame, regret, worry and humiliation.

Mmmm delicious!! …That was fun right?

Well guess what? I have had a guts full of this pity party. It’s always the same crowd, doing the same shit. Nobody is having a good time and the come down is just getting old.

So it’s time to put on my big girl pants and take responsibility. YAY for responsibility!

So this is the plan:

  • Bring awareness to the fact that this cycle is happening.
  • Ask myself why I’m hurting. Am I creating a story in my head that isn’t really happening?
  • Do these feelings come from old pain or fear disguised as self-protection?
  • Don’t place blame on the people I love for the way that I feel.
  • Take care of myself. Don’t be so hard on myself to have all the answers. Its ok to learn.
  • I am not a victim, I repeat, I am not a victim.

And the final step – get back to being a fucking legend!!!

  • The Spiritual Bogan
Please post a comment & share this with a legend who would enjoy laughing at my expense xox

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